Amber Alert

*courtesy of Google* Amber Alert is an emergency response system that disseminates information about a missing person (usually a child), by media broadcasting or electronic roadway signs.

… and with that being said, it doesn’t mean a fucking thing to me.  You see, nowadays we live in a society where drug dealers get maximum sentences verses the murderers who get the minimum. A system that serves and protect law enforcement agents who are bigger thugs than the ones on the streets.  We live in a society where racism still exists, marriage is just a piece of paper and it’s okay for a person to snatch your child out of school (regardless of who the child lives with, who the child knows, or who has always been the primary caregiver their entire life) as long as their name is on the birth certificate. So someone tell me, what the fuck or who the fuck does this Amber Alert protects… because it didn’t protect mine.

Now I could sit here and give you my whole life story… or my child’s, in this matter. I could bring you into my world and tell you how the past 48 hours have been absolute hell. I could try and swoon my audience into being on my side, make you sympathize with me… protest for ME. Look at me and what they did to me!! But who should this really be about? There are 3 sides to every story and no one knows who side really counts?  

Now let’s back track a little here.  When these Amber Alerts were being sent out, did the media broadcast that the child was abducted by either their mom or dad? Does it depict who the culprit is and whether or not their name is on the birth certificate (LOL)…. because if in fact the name is on the birth certificate (in which I just learned), then what the hell are you looking for; or, should we say WHO the hell are you looking for? Does the Amber Alert ONLY alert when and if the child is with a pedophile? Or maybe there is a code that you give to the police so that THEY know you have the right to send out an alert. Because you never know… I mean the way this government is set up nowadays.. ijs. From what we know or what we thought the purpose served, the Amber Alert should work in everyone’s favor, right? At least, the missing child’s favor, because that’s who the victim really is. 

Now let’s brainstorm. If a person has been soul provider for their child from the time that they were born, you would think that they would have more rights than the person who is only there to pick up the slack. And because a mother is automatically tied to the duties of a being that soul provider once the child is born, you would think that would automatically give her more rights, as well. No one asks dad, grandma, aunt or uncle, brother or sister what would YOU like to name the baby or please sign off on these discharge papers and aftercare instructions.  Even if WHOMEVER, man or woman, signed the affidavit for having a child out of wedlock and YES you claim this child is yours… so that your name can be printed on the birth certificate, NO ONE asks that person anything in regards to the care of that child. BECAUSE WHY… they are not the mother. And because SHE delivered the baby, everyone is under the notion that SHE will be the one taking care of the baby. Married or not. 

Bringing you up to speed… you can raise your child, lay a foundation and make a path for them to walk the good road… only for it all to be snatched away as if IT, YOU, nor THAT CHILD ever existed. And even though the nurses, doctors, teachers and so forth look forward to contacting the mother through it all, there is still another name listed on the birth certificate and that person has the right to undermine your authority and make you out to be the culprit in the Amber Alert broadcast. Your rights are stripped and basically the system has bitch slapped you and made you walk down the street with your drawers at your ankles and your tail between your legs.  

Now you’re at war with one another. Who is the better fit and who did what, when, where and how. Money spent and money lost… all to gain what in the process. Because the truth of the matter is, no matter who won the case in court, the child still loses.   

Until next time bloggers… 

God Has Spoiled Me

I know, I know… Don’t judge me. The randomness has got to stop. I haven’t even responded to comments and whatnots on past posts, which I do sincerely apologize for. But I had to squeeze in a few minutes to vent. And who better, than you guys.

So here is the deal… I’m back on my house rampage again. Not only that, But I have set this ultimate retarded goal of shit to get done within the next 2 years. Let me bring you guys up to date. I think this blog is about to turn into a rage of rantings over the next couple of months… maybe even years.

Let’s begin with the wack ass 2 year goal. SOOO… Pending “Official” and I are planning on getting married. We have a date set for July 4, 2015. Wedding is 2 years away (and some change), so I figured I would give myself some shit to get done either before or by that time. In just a 3 week time period, the wedding has moved from some random venue in a more metropolitan area here in NC (too expensive), to Jamaica (too expensive for everybody else), back to my family’s land here at home (now I have to figure out what the fuck am I going to do with 10 acres of country ass land). I’ve been rummaging through ideas of the attire for the groomsmen and bridesmaid and being as though, Official’s brother has departed, playing dressup with the fellas isn’t really all that fun. So, NOW, I’m playing with the idea of J.O.P and maybe a reception.

Ok… so that’s 2 years from now. Now, let’s rewind back to the present. I’m still waiting to hear back from “the job”. Apparently, State employees are trained to keep molasses up their asses and it takes forever (yes up to 2 months or so) just to hear back when your start date will be. Let me mind you, which could also be a month later because they want to start you at the beginning of your pay period. But, I’m no dummy, I have still been applying for other jobs. I didn’t take myself out of the game completely. So, with all of that being said, YES!… This is also in my 2 year goal; to get another job. And not just any old job. A decent paying-Mon-Fri-straight 9-5-with benefits having kind of job. Yes my dears. And where I’m from, NO job comes easy. Not even a job at Wal-Mart or McDonalds.

On to the next wack-a-doo thought process. Somewhere in the air, there has been these little voices rummaging around talking about “baby”. OMG!! really?!! Mainly, because Official wants to take his chances of trying for a boy. No, this is not a necessity. However, my calculations tell me that if I have a baby this year, that would put my daughter and the little one at 5 years apart just as she and my son are. And that would make my son 10 years apart from the youngest. 5 is like my lucky number or something (I guess), only because my son and daughter are 5 years apart (some bright idea). Anywho, you get where I’m going with this? Right!!! No fucking where!! LOL!! Ok.. on that note, bedroom gyratings have been rather careless (which they always have been, only without the guilt trip about the fact no one pulled out.. or got off?… whatever…). So, basically what I am really trying to do is hurry along my hiring process for A job (not just the one I’m waiting on now), so that if I am or do turn up preggo, I can have my foot in the door before they find out the damage I have done LMAO!!! Go ahead… call me crazy!! I swear I won’t get mad. And yes, we have a baby name. LOL!!

Sooooo, I get’s slapped in the face again with yet another house that is too perfect for words. The pricing is awesome! The location? Awesome! The size? AWESOME!!! Eveything about is … is… is just AWESOME!!! Credit is not an issue, so much as being prepared for a down payment just in case they ask. I have the number. The saler is just a phone call away. Actually, lives right down the street from my mom. All I have to do is pick up the phone and ask. But the rejection terrifies me. I have it right here, in finger dialing reach… and I can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve been back to the website over 20 times, maybe more, just to stare at it’s walls and yard. Not to mention I have to ride pass there everyday to take and pick my son up from my mom’s after school. This makes Day 2 of it being on the market, and I am already having wet dreams about the house: me in it, me sitting on the porch, me doing yard work (you know this had to be a dream), me decorating. Then I awaken to pure disappointment… my shitty ass apartment! uuugghhhh!! My goal to buy a house, I wanted to reach before the end of this year; because the house-buying goal actually started last year.

And by the time, my 2 years is up, I will be living the Black Woman’s American Dream. I’ll have my house, my good job, with my complete circle of life; my children and a husband in my early 30’s. I’m not sure if I am completely insane to actually try my best to get all of these things complete before 2015 or if my blessing’s have been so farfetchingly huge, that God has really made a spoiled brat out of me. All I can do is thank him. And whether or not I get these crazy duties complete, I will definitely be back to update you on the latest.

Until next time bloggers….


Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, and I’m trying to figure out what’s the point of 1 specific day out of a year where you show the love of your life just how much you really love them. To be honest, I think it’s a crock of shit. The myth goes, “people who talk bad about a holiday only bitch and moan because they have no one to share it with.” LOL!! Well that’s a shitty load too. Excuse me my dear readers as I produce a vicious rant as to why this day is some bullshit.

Maybe it would be all sweet and cute for first timers to celebrate this day. Kissy-kissy and exchanging of the gifts. That’s so sweet. But understand that once you get to an age where bullshit is bullshit and the reality of a relationship is how much work and effort that you put in over whatever period of time the 2 of you have been together, then we can talk about something. You should be showing appreciation and love throughout your entire time of togetherness. I mean, let’s think about this thing; VD is not what brought you together. You are with one another for whatever reasons the laws of attraction brought you together. So in my opinion, your apprecation should show for those reasons… on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Or whatever suits your schedule.

Red here, pink there. Hearts, flowers and whatnots. The perfect timing for a mutha’fucka to kiss ass for all the wrong-doing done since last years VD. I’m not buying it and you shouldn’t either. In high school it was fun. I was never expecting anything, but being as though I never dated anyone in school, I always received something at the front office because guys who were out of school had a job and time to go pick that shit up. It’s an awesome feeling walking around with flowers and teddy bears and candy, and balloons. Basically a bunch of bullshit that kept my attention off my school work. Now that I think about it, it really could have waited until I got home.

Valentine’s Day is a VD. It’s a 1 day disease. Everyone goes into an uproar like they’re itching and shit and just gots to have the cure. “Omg”, “It’s beeeaauutiful”, “Thank you”, “I love you”, “I’m going to have to do some extra for you tonight…”. This is also shit that could have been given at random. At Christmas. Birthday. But nooooo, everyone wants to wait and catch the VD. And by the time the 15th gets here, it’s over. Like a quick 2 humps and bust one, you are left to dry. It’s over like nothing ever happened. Love me for a day and leave me tomorrow. I think I would rather do without. No one should have to tell or even make us show appreciation to our partners. It’s a forceful anticdote placed on those who bullshit throughout the year, and believe it or not, it works… for them.

I’m not a fan of gifts. I’m a fan of moments. If we were taught to create historical moments, then the world would be a better place. Give me a VD I couldn’t live without, and I would happily scratch it.

Until next time bloggers….

So Cliche’, But Christmas Is Here

Christmas is here and I’m feeling pretty damn good about myself. I’ve put in my part for charity, I actually got everyone in my family and “pending’s” family a gift this year and I still have gas money left over for the rest of this week, LMAO!! My Scrooge mentality subsided once I realized I would be able to complete everything that I wanted to get done in this month. I also realized that broke people are the only ones always yelling, “money isn’t everything” but the truth is it damn sure gets the job done when you do have it. The thing about that, too, is Scrooge had money. That bitch was just selfish, which I am not. I was only frustrated because all I wanted was to just be in a position where I would be able to give. And although everyone didn’t receive extravagent diamond bracelets or expensive perfumes, they were all gifts that a lot of thought was put into because it was shit that each person actually needed. LOL!! Get’s no better than that, huh?

Once these next 2 days have passed, I’ll began prepping for my daughter’s birthday. She will be turning 4 and yes, it’s 5 days after tomorrow. No expensive party. I think we are just going to get together at the bowling alley since she likes to bowl. I’ll see if I can find an Angry Birds birthday cake somewhere (yes she is an angry bird fanatic), some ice cream and call it a day. This is the one child that is really not that hard to please. I pray she keeps her humbling spirit. In the process of planning for her, I’m rummaging through thoughts for my son’s up and coming. I’ve been back and forth with about 2 or 3 things, not sure yet which one I will decide to go with. But I got about 2 months to think about it and get my shit together. I think I’m burned out on trying to throw birthday parties. And maybe that’s because my apartment space doesn’t allow me to. I’m sure once I find my house, I will be back at being the number 1 kid’s birthday party planner, lol!

On to other news… the Devil tried to play me yesterday. I guess I have been smiling too much and glowing and shit because I’ve found some holiday spirit. It’s actually a funny story, not so much but kind of. I was pulling out of my mother’s drive way and turned my steering wheel, of course, to make a left on to the street. Well as I turned, I heard a pop up under my car. My thoughts? “What the hell did I just run over? What did that damn dog bring into my mom’s yard now?” I kept going a little ways and looked in my rearview only to see that something was rolling in the street. Well, it wasn’t my wheel obviously. But the little people in my brain told me to stop, back up and check out the scene. Out of respect for my conscience, I did so, inspected and was on some “WTF?!” type shit. Fast forward. I take a picture of it (as you can see in the picture above) and sent it to my mechanic who is also my mom’s wonderful boyfriend, who immediately called me back and said, “what the hell are you doing with that and where did you get it?” I explained and he then told me that this was a frame bushing. In other words, for those who are unfamiliar with cars, it’s a big ass bolt that keeps the frame of your car together. I could just picture me on the highway driving and my car coming a part, losing pieces here and there as I’m driving, until there is no car left. That’s where things got unfunny. But I wasn’t on the highway, hell I didn’t even make it to the end of the road. I could have, but my little people were talking pretty loud. I’m glad I listened. I had my son, my daughter and my neice with me. It could have been devastating. As I get out the car and showed my mom the part, she goes, “that’s what you call driving ’til the wheels fall off” LMAO!! Well guess what Devil, I’m still smiling… and driving. It’s Christmas!!

Until next time bloggers…

Have a wonderful, awesomely joyfilled Merry Christmas along with a safe and Happy New Year! Try something adventurous and orgasm at the strike of 12, LOL!! What a way to start a new year! Kisses!

Trials Of A Mother: Mom vs. Dad

There’s a difference between under-rated and haven’t made it-Meek Mills

Once you have children, you find out that they hold so much weight over you. I live a life in “the quiet”. I’m hardened. And unless you could actually exchange souls with me, you would never know the exact feelings that which I have learned to professionally keep in the calming abyss of my brain. Life is a struggle without the whining and bitching of someone else who has walked this Earth just as long as you have. But when you are stuck in the middle (somewhere) who is there to tell you which way to go? I would rather bypass advice from those who really can’t understand what it’s like to be in my shoes. Opinionated people can sometimes give off good talk game, but does that really help to solve your problem? I could only think of one person that could possibly be my cure-all, so I called out to my Grandmother (Lord rest her soul, 12 years and you would think the grieving process would have subsided by now) last night and she wasn’t there to answer me back. At that moment of no response, I realized what makes me the weakest link… my kids. My hard rock turned to soft and the water flowed faster than the rivers. I was hurt. And I had no one to console me the way that I know only she could have done.

A Little Background Info
From the outside looking in… a quick explanation of how my son’s father and I share him, you would think, “oh that’s awesome!”, “that’s great that he does dot-dot-dot”. But to be honest, I never cared for the extra help. Or maybe, it’s that I never cared for him period. So I would rather have done without his presence from then until now. I believe this is the cycle of where I pay for my sins. Never in a million years did I believe that I would be able to birth my own kryptonite. I have to learn to become immune to the glow and sustain a state of submissivness for the sake of my child. I’ve found this man to be a vicious blood sucker which I knew from jumpstreet, AFTER my son was born (everyone else found out years later). Needless to say, I found out I was pregnant 2 months after completely ridding him of my life. I should have left it that way. I had never met a snake in person until I met him. But the moral of all of this begins with the quote that I stated above…

The Moral
Children hold strong to things that interest them. Memories that settle in and stick, even if it is for a split second. They believe that this is how life is suppose to be every single second there after. I agree. And if that was in any way, shape, form or fashionably possible, I would most definitely love to keep the line of tremendous pops of fireworks going every single day. Instead, a working mother loses sight of even being alive. You are only here to make things comfortable and enjoyable for your children, instill in them the mechanics of life and hope they take heed and prosper into the star you would like for them to be. In other words, you hustle your ass off every single day and hope that your kids don’t show resentment towards your grind once they get older. They are too young to understand. This is what portrays an image of “difference” between whose head of household. Those who have time and those who don’t. What they believe is good for them and what they don’t. BUT if they don’t know any difference between the two, then all they would know is what they were born into, you would think. I admit my work load can get the best of me. Maybe that is why when special events, birthdays or whatnot come around, I tend to overtly stress because I want it to be pure perfection. I have to choose the perfect gift. Things have to be perfectly in sync with whatever it is my son or daughter asks for. I’ve concocted miracles out of my ass, ears, nostrils… basically every hole in my body, and yet I remain the under-rated of the 2 parenting species. I’m judged for not buying a toy at the drop of a dime. I’m judged for letting a practice slip my mind. I’m judged for working. Judged for cooking, for parenting, disciplining, for paying bills…

Going In
I believe that if I had a source for freeloading that would take care of me and pay my bills, I could put in the excess time and effort to completely consume my life with my children and still have plenty time left over to piss off the other parent too. I can honestly say that I can teach my son how to be more of a man than his sperm donor with also stating the fact that I think I would feel some type of way (like not setting a good example) if I still lived with my mother and fed him off of her income. That’s like saying it’s ok to do this; you don’t need a job or an education, you can live with me forever. I wonder what it would be like if the tables were to turn? The day that this freeloader would have to get a job and actually fend for himself. I wonder if my son’s feelings for this person he deems as a Super Hero (technically for not having a life) would remain the same?

This is like one of those “Lifetime” movies. I never believed my life would play out where it’s Mom vs. Dumb Ass. You hear stories of parents and their bribing kids with toys and gifts. But for some odd reason, I never thought that would be considered a legitimate practice. At least not on my playing field. The Devil is playing hardball. Situations such as this leave you in positions feeling as though your faith and humbling to the cause is not enough. I’m completely blown. And after you have done so much (you think) you’re left drawn into a fetal position because there is nothing else that you can do. Your child already has everything coming from both ends (his ass and my heart). Nowadays, kids are blessed with everything they could imagine. And the parents are breaking their necks to make impossibilities somewhat possible, if not completely. I didn’t have it like that growing up. And beginning from the time that I was able to make my own money, I have worked for every single thing that I have as well as my children. It’s like I’m constantly trying to prove myself when really I know that I don’t have to. This is not a competition. So why make it out to seem like it is one? At damn near 40, one should realize when it’s time to stop being a bitch. Someone could easily think that science has naturally fucked up it’s corse and made a ni66a bleed on a monthly basis. I don’t need the extras of dealing with 2 periods in a month. I just want to look forward to lesser drama from the man-bitch and more gain of understanding with my son.

Until next time bloggers…

No Days Off

Soooo, yesterday I was going to shoot ya’ll some hidden histories about Thanksgiving and even though I already know the story, I didn’t feel like researching extra information #lazy Then I thought about saying some shit like, “Happy Thanksgiving” and put up a pretty picture of a turkey or something, but I didn’t feel like doing that either. It just wasn’t Sense So Common’s style. All of this contemplating led me straight up to not writing a damn thing. I’m midway in to my 2nd year of writing on this blog and if you have been with me from the beginning of time, you would know that I’m not much of a “holiday spirit” so to speak. So I’m here (at work) on Black Friday (LMAO!!!…. yes I have to laugh about the crazies who spent the night in store parking lots last night) telling you guys about what happened to me yesterday and why my “holiday spirit” tends to roam.

I never make plans to cook because I’m always working. The question for the week when passing by strangers as you’re walking through the stores or on the street is, “what you cooking for Turkey Day”, “gotta a lot of goodies on your menu for Thursday?” I would like to look at them and tell them to “quit being so damn nosey”, “even if I was cooking, it ain’t like you eating any of the shit”. OK, so I’m a little bitchy when it comes to the holidays too, lol. So I guess if you are one of those jolly ol’ people who just loves to spark convos with random strangers, you might want to think twice about your choice of words. Maybe we should just stick with “Happy Holidays” and call it a year.

I spent the first part of my Thanksgiving working until 3 p.m. My work schedule would be fine being as though, that’s usually about the time my family eats anyway. We used to start at 1 in the afternoon, but people have jobs and shit BECAUSE not everyone gets the holidays off (like me). I probably would be in more of a better mood if the owners I work for weren’t so fucking cheap and incorporated time and a half on my paycheck for ALL of the holidays that I work. But, whatever, that’s the point of searching for another job. (ok I’m rambling) I had errands out the ass to run. Not to mention that my son was with me yesterday (at work), which is a bit of a headache. I know the reasons, first hand, why you shouldn’t be aloud to take your kids to work, lol! Sometimes, it can be convenient, but it can also be a hemorrhoid on your ass. Anywho, he kept me good company (I guess) since I really didn’t have shit to do at work, I just had to be there. I found out that fast food resturaunts aren’t open on Thanksgiving (now how come I didn’t know that, LOL) but Golden Corral is a place for all of the lazy ass, non-cooking people to go and eat. We did lunch take-out there, I wrapped up the rest of my work day, and we were out.

In the meantime of all this commotion of non-Thanksgiving-commotion, I hoped and prayed that no one would call me on this holiday to come get them out of jail. I felt pretty good about chillaxing for the rest of my day being as though I was slightly fatigued from drinking with my besties from the night before. After eating, my main goal was to pop me a Corona to subside the queezy in my stomach (I think it’s an alcoholic remedy or something, you kill hangovers with more alcohol *shrugs* it works, lol) After making my stops, I reached the family’s house a little after 4 which was still great timing. Everyone had already eaten and it was time to get loaded with more alcohol. It seems as though my family’s new hobby is jello shots LLS!!! And yes!! This shit is funnnn-nnnnyyyy! I sit down to eat, I get full, taste-test about 2 or 3 of these shots and pop my Corona. As soon as my top tapped the counter top, my phone rings. I know when work is calling because random numbers don’t just call my phone. I started not to answer but being as though I knew this was “money” ringing my phone, I broke down and clicked the talk button. Let’s just say the next 3 hours after that was spent wasting time on retarded people who didn’t have a pin number to their own debit card (or so they say) smh, Yes! Exactly! I know what you’re thinking. lol!

Overall, I enjoyed the bits and pieces of blessings received. I actually got a chance to stop by everyone’s house whom were near and dear to me (only 3) But I usually don’t get a chance to make visitations as such. Even though I missed my money because I was dealing with some real retards, I know there will be plenty more criminals cutting a fool around these holidays. So I’m not worried. The joys of “no days off”, huh?

Well here’s to you fellow bloggers, until next time… Happy Holidays!

Up 4 Discussion Presents…

5 Things EVERYONE Should Know BEFORE Having Kids

It must be my birthday!!! LOL!! I am all over the place this morning!!! From Spoken Words & Thoughts to Up 4 Discussion. And once again, I am so honored. You see, I told you guys I’ve been busy….

Sometimes we all just need that extra push and luckily I have an awesome Blogger Boss who knows just how to push me. J decided to give us all a few topics to pick and choose from and I chose a few but I couldn’t let this one keep lingering in my email without diving in head first. Yes!! 5 things EVERYONE should know BEFORE having kids It has a ring to it, don’t you think?!

If you really want to know what to look forward to, then I’m here to give it to you. No cut cards, straight no chaser. I’m sorry my lovelies, but what type of friend would I be if I didn’t give you the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

I hope you all enjoy. Be sure to let me know what you think. Those of you who want kids in the future, let me know how you feel childbirth after reading this. And those of you that have kids now, has your experience been as joyful as mine? Whatever you do, just be sure to always, always, always check out the rest of the Up 4 Discussion family. We have such an eclectic taste in diversity.

Until next time bloggers…