Deeper Than Intimacy

LIFE


If the tea kettle fits, wear it.

Life is strange in so many ways. Yet it intrigues me to see the responses given off from the natural energy waves that seem to throttle throughout the different land elevations. I absolutely know exactly when I am in the wrong and I also know what paths to take to get to where I need to be. Hah! What a treat to know exactly what there is to come with having great common sense. I grow up, I digress, I excel, I fail, and I start all over again only to look back and see that I am exactly where I want and need to be. God always has a plan. Who would have thunk it? Side eye glances and stink faces towards those that started the “eye war” first… and then I laugh. Because unlike them, I know what I am doing and am very freewilled at revealing my faults. That is, only if I want to. But, honestly, I like to play dumb. The reactions are so far-fetchingly funny and people will talk until they are blue in the face and will rather die from asphyxiation before they shut up. This is not to make any excuses for actions that are seemingly done with a lack of common sense. It’s only to let you know that I see that you see me, and I like my performance just as much as you do. Like I’m really going to reveal the entire story. Here is where the rebellion sets in. I strive to make no one happy but my babies which means that any other thing considered to be “out of their the norm” that just so happens to be sickening to my audience, I’m probably going to continue to do just that. Only because I get a kick out of the false images people try to portray for everyone else. You can’t tell me how to live my life if yours is constantly up in some fuckery. Pardon me for handing you your ass, lol.

RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE


What are you running from?

Hell rasied arguements arise and I get arousal from not only the energy I draw up within myself, but the energy that I can pull from my opponent. What is this? We call it a fight, maybe even war. A brawl. A heated conversation about disappointments or a lack of effort, maybe? Love? Is this how we love one another? Consorting images that fit the projector screen of our imaginations. We want comfortability. A go-to. We need to know that there is someone out there (other than family, because they have no choice or maybe they do) that is not forced into standing in one location. In front of me. It’s unconditional and no matter what he/she or I say, I can count on a permanent presence in my atmosphere. I’m not forcing someone to be here and I am being counted on in return. Careful steps to building something we want to be prosperous and worthwhile. Battling for something so unknown. You think you got it but you’re still not so sure. Because you feel something, but everytime you feel some thing, it feels even more different than the time before, or that other time when… dot-dot-dot, or the last time when I thought… dot-dot-dot…. because… dot-dot-dot. But this time feels different or is it every time that feels different? Now I’m confused. But you stick with what you know and what you know is this energy (wherever it derives from)… it feels too damn good. I’m crazy! You’re crazy! Everyone is crazy! How much or how long does it take for you to get to this classification? Because in this mixed up world with what is normal and what is not, what is justified and what is just flat out fucked up… nothing compares to when the calming sets in after the storm. The still. The fresh. The little particles of mist that decided to stay behind. I’m addicted to the crazy, this crazy… what do they call it? I think they call it love? Or maybe, just crazy. So I guess you are right… I have lost my everlasting mind LOL!!! Tell me something I don’t know.

LUST

An urge so easily flaring up one’s actions, emotions and/or every fear. An energy that made up for every whip, winding, loop and  curve. Damn! I want you. I love the way you chew your food… it makes me wanna… And I like the way you walk to your car… I just picture… Because when you do that little thing with your… you know… that thing you do in the mirror before we leave out (chuckles)… I would rather stay in. Because what I envision and the way I envision it, is something special to me.Personal and somewhat embaressing. A bit intensified and passionate. Because I find myself staring. I think I want to do things at the most inappropriate moment, in the most inappropriate way only because double negatives attract in some type of odd fashion. I like you dressed in your vulnerable. And I think about this more often than the average. Addicted, maybe? Not necessarily. But just the other day, when we were sitting trying to be adults, talking about bills and life and such, I only saw your fingertips caressing the total amount for my last months charges. Overdue. And when you mentioned that we were out of bread, I only recall you fitting between the middle of my last two slices. Then there was… some time ago when you yelled across the room, “I’m so sick and tired of fighting!!” and then something to the effect of being sarcastic…but it sounded more like, blah-blah-blah, because all I really heard was the moans and tussleing from us fighting in the bedroom or maybe right there in the kitchen, it was. A UFC match, locked up and intertwined in hell’s bliss. Yoked up against the wall, helpless to being raped with ever so passionate thrusts where I fall victim to the lust that leaves me with this natural high of euphoria. And now I only want more. I need another fix so let’s argue again until we’ve settled the score.

Until next time bloggers…

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3 thoughts on “Deeper Than Intimacy

  1. I enjoyed this piece. It touch a lot of the bases.

    I’m mad tho I been trying to like this post for 2 hours….WordPress is tripping.

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